Never in my life have I loved myself more than today ...

I know, I know its quite insignificant what I'm about to say, but it meant the world to me when I found out. Lately in my current academic courses, since the start I have been on a failing streak, test I took, test I failed, quiz I took, quiz I failed. But today was that exception I long seeked, I did it, for the first time I got an A. More than what I ever expected.

I don't know if I ever shared this with you guys, or if you even care to read. But very few people know me in this world, sure people recognize me and such but very little know who I am on the inside (if you know what I mean). I thought about it one day and I realized I am a broken girl, I'm a broken girl in the sense that I don't have the confidence many other girls have, my self esteeem is on the floor. Basically I don't feel good about who I am. And very little amount of people know that about me ( yes only u if your reading). The fact that I go around smiling every day of my life doesn't really mean anything, that's why this little A that I got meant the world...

It shined a ray of light into my life, lately my emotions have been all over the place. I've constantly felt like a failure, like its not even worth trying. At one point I came to believe that; I came to believe that no one cared about me, I was in a trans where all I thought about was how unimportant I am to people. My mind constantly told me " they don't care about you or your future, all they care about is themselves" and you know what I believed that even if it wasn't true. I set myself to failure, it wasn't them who tried to bring me down it was just me, and only me.

Ever since I got out of highschool I struggled to find who I really am and what my purpose in life is. I feel as if all I can feel now is sadness, but I don't know why. Idk what's wrong with me lately but I do know that its time for me to fight, I might of achieved a ray of light to shine upon me but I'm not stopping until the whole sun shines on me.

~ Simply J