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For 3 years, we’ve had an empty bedroom, an empty chair at the kitchen table, and a void in our daily conversation. Sure our food, electric and water bills have been lower, but it’s still been a difficult trade-off for me.
When my oldest son went to college, I of course, was excited for his future. He’s known since he was 8 years old what he wanted to do. He set his compass in that direction, and has methodically marched forward ever since. Now, just 3 years after graduating high school, he will be graduating Magna Cum Laude with a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Science, (I say bursting with pride).
Additionally, he already has a fantastic job as a software developer lined up, with great pay and great benefits. And after living almost 4 hours away for the past 3 years, his job is only 6 miles from home. You can see why I’m excited, right?
Did I mention that he’s moving back in with us? (Yup. That’s where I lose some folks.)
Many parents I know "gently encourage” if not mandate, that once their child graduates college they are on their own. No moving back home. No mooching off the ‘rents. And I get it. We raise our children praying they will grow into self-sufficient, productive and happy young adults. And for many, that means they should be out in the world making their own way without the help of mom and dad.
Now, let me be clear. My son certainly has the ability and financial stability to live on his own, but my husband and I offered an opportunity to our son he just couldn’t refuse.
My husband created an Excel spreadsheet to help calculate what it would cost to live completely on his own. And I'm talking every, single expense. If he wanted to move back home, he would be required to pay all comparable living expenses, to a bank account he could access once he moved out. So if he chose to move home for 3 months, 6 months or a year, he’d be able to save a fairly nice chunk of money to put down on a house.
We also had conversations regarding rules and expectations of him returning home. I imagine it will be a bit different having my adult son living with us, and we wanted to discuss expectations up front, ie. cleaning his own space, helping out around the house etc. We also talked to our other 3 children to get their input on big brother moving home, as I know it will be an adjustment all over again, for all of us. And at least for now, they are excited to have him back as well.
Why would a recent college graduate with a new job want to move back home? I’d like to think it’s because he missed us so much. The family meals, Nerf gun wars, movie nights… Smh! But I know he’s a practical kid like his father, and saw this as a great way of further preparing for his future.
I know this may seem a bit unconventional, or flat out weird, but I can’t wait! It’ll be amazing having all of us under the same roof once again. And while I’m realistic enough to know it won’t be without some hiccups along the way, I’ll take it anyway. Because the day will come soon enough when all the beds and chairs will be empty once again… only for good this time.
Welcome home, son!
