To feel no pain. A litany lived by many. Stay safe, we think.

We might try to hide. But pain rebirths itself in every cell of our bodies from time to time. We have no choice, it decides when to enter our lives.

We tend to hear the word pain and feel that it is associated with loss. Rivers of tears, darkened nights, the boundless echoes of thunder. The Unknown, that scary, uncomfortable place. But what of the other kind of pain?

The one that delivers your child, the breaking of your heart with utter joy when you witness the sunshine bouncing off the new hairs after chemo, the expanding of your dinner table as a loved one introduces someone who makes them sing with delight? Pain, yes. Because behind this feeling you know you are given a gift, and that someday it could be taken away. It is the pain of recognition that changes you.

So how do we hold on to the sheer expanse of those special moments?

This “painless woman” might be brave in her surgery but would she also attempt starting a new business or leaving an abusive husband? Physical pain hurts but emotional and mental pain can destroy. Would this person who doesn't fear a fall on slippery streets or tackling a half-marathon also be brave enough to assert herself in the workplace?

Are some of us just wired to feel less pain?

But like most of us, notice as you run through your experiences of pain. Most pain we feel is because we didn't get something we wanted. Often due to love. People are known to betray us in the most hurtful ways. Then there is the pain from an accomplishment. We might sacrifice hard hours of alone time in our side hustle to find that it turns into more. And then it might lead to joy, eventually.

If you and I knew that we would not feel the pain of rejection (it could be your new book or even a first date) what would we try? If we had everything to gain and no pain to endure, would we approach your day differently?

Can we hide from pain?

If you stop and think about it though, where did you make your biggest gains? Did you defy the odds, take a chance, take a stand, believe in yourself?

Ah, believe! Every person I know who moved passed their pain believed they could. They survived their loss and gained much more. They became examples and teachers for those around them.

They learned that pain diminishes, gains increase.

Then, tell me.

How much pain are you willing to endure to move forward? (Tweet This)

What have you gained after your pain? (Tweet This)

Keep looking. When you find it, make it better. ©

Portlandia

She kneels down,
and from the quietness
of copper reaches out.
We take that stillness
into ourselves,
and somewhere
deep in the earth
our breath
becomes her city.
If she could speak
this is what
she would say:
Follow that breath.
Home is the journey we make.
This is how the world
knows where we are.

Ronald Talney

The Unlikely Story of Portlandia's Poem