I have battled a mental disorder since a teenager. Mostly probably it was going on long before that, but it finally came to the attention of people around me during my senior year in high school. Long story short, after being involuntarily committed (because I was a teenager), I learned that I did not want to go the route of the people I met there; I wanted to learn how to not be mentally insane. But one can not really run away or ignore the reality of what goes on within their body. I've done a damn good job of becominging a highly functioning individual. But after acheiving pretty good success, working as a professional person, my world started to crumble because I never found anyone who really understood me. (including doctors) I lost my $50,000 a year job, because mental disorders are still a disability that has very little protection under ADA. I lost my private disability insurance, that would have provided me an income of $30,000 and access to private insurance because I discovered the policy was only as good as I had doctors willing to take on a private insurance company. (drs, do having brain lesions count??) Instead, I am now on social security disability and medicare. And I am still struggling to understand why I am the one considered insane, when I see it is the world around me that is what is truly insane.
Don't worry, after YEARS and spending thousands of dollars to help me deal with my many moments of crisis over the years; I am confident that I am now adequately house trained to behave properly around others. But that could also be part of my problem in finding help; I keep my thoughts, well managed in my head, to myself. Except now, I may post them here. p.s. I have recently discovered that I am not mentally ill at all; I have a neurological brain disorder. :-)
at home in Fresno, CA
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