I have spent the last two years stressed out by college. By stressed out I mean I have lost weight (and, let me tell you, I shouldn't be losing weight, I'm already very small), I have cried myself to sleep, I have spent entire days worrying about my grades. I wanted to get into this amazing scientific law program in university, so I needed to maintain good grades.
When I finally got into the program and finished college, I was so excited. One stress free summer before starting this new chapter in my life. Wow. How amazing does that sound?
Even though summer was starting, I couldn't wait to start university because everything seemed incredible about that program. In four years, I would have my law degree with a specialization in the scientific sector. I was just so, so, so excited.
That's when I got the call that ruined my summer. The call that made me stress all over again.
So there's this ministry english exam we have to pass to get our diploma. Before starting university, we absolutely need to have this diploma. Well you know what? I (the girl who, in her last semester, got 96% in English) failed this fucking exam. WHAT?! Yeah... I cried and cried and cried and cried again. What the hell was going to happen...
Even the woman who gave me the news couldn't understand why I had failed. So, I decided to ask for a grade review. I'm supposed to know the new (maybe) result in about 1-2 weeks. If that doesn't work out, I'll have to take it again 15 days before I am supposed to start university. What will happen? I have no clue. I am so scared. What the hell am I going to do if I fail again?
I know, it's just school. I can push off university for a semester or two. It's no big deal, right?
Well yeah it is a big deal. School is normal for me. It's what I'm used to. It's what I'm supposed to do. Maybe you're thinking: whoa she needs to get a life. But I do have a life. It's just that I'm supposed to be smart. I like learning and I want to continue learning about what excites me!
All I can do now is wait. Wait for that fucking result which will either make me the happiest person or make me cry and stay in my room forever. Meanwhile, I still have to prepare some university things even though I'm not even sure that I will be going...
This is how my happy and stress-free summer turned into a shitload.
I know it could be worse and I'm totally aware that I still have it easier than many people. But for me, this is a disaster.