Source: Wikimedia Commons
Ivanka Trump has been trying every possible angle to avoid testifying in her family’s $250 million bank fraud trial brought forth by New York Attorney General Letitia James. In fact, after she was finally ordered to testify in the trial last week, she once again appealed the decision on the grounds that she would face “undue hardship” if she had to find childcare in order to testify during the school week. In denying that request, the judge basically reminded Ivanka that “she could probably afford a babysitter.”

Gee, I’m confused. You'd think Princess Sparkle Pony would wanna drop everything to defend her father and brothers in court. Why, its almost as if she already knows they’re guilty. That said, if poor Ivanka and Jared can’t afford a babysitter, perhaps Jared should consider asking the Saudis for a little more cash. After all, that $2 billion the Saudis already gave him only goes so far. Of course, I realize that Saudi cash might be a wee bit harder to come by now that Trump no longer has all those stacks of top-secret documents to sell scattered around that he once had.

Sadly, and according to the Daily Mail, this trial apparently isn’t even her first childcare “undue hardship” poor Ivanka had to face this year. It seems in the first 6 months of 2023 alone, she was “forced” to make 11 international trips, and many of those were made while her children were in school. These included trips to Ibiza to attend a party, one to Spain to chill out on a yacht, a Costa Rica surfing trip, a spa trip to Morocco, a trip to London to go clubbing, along with other trips to Prague, Greece, Jordan, and of course Paris.

Why its simply horrifying to try and imagine the “undue hardships” those trips must have caused. That said, and I know this may come as a surprise to many, but I fully get Ivanka’s point about the difficulty she has in finding childcare. After all, let’s get real here - anyone asked to babysit for the Trump family would most certainly realize their chances of actually getting paid are near zero. That said, when I hear this “undue hardship” talk, I do have to admit that her childcare excuse was at least better than, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t possibly testify that week; I have hair and nail appointments.”

Hey, how’s this for an idea? Perhaps someone could teach Jared how to make mac 'n cheese for the kiddies those couple of days Princess Sparkle Pony is off testifying? Or, if that’s way too complicated for him, then have someone show him how to order a pizza. In the meantime, here’s a novel idea, Ivanka. How about just doing your civic duty, go to court and tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? I know telling the truth isn’t something that comes naturally for a Trump, but come on - we all occasionally have to step outside our comfort zones.

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:
Johnny Robish Comedy