Source: Wikimedia Commons
Gee, what an interesting raffle! Hell, I guess you could call a giveaway like this an “Assault Raffle.” I mean, talk about a way for Republicans to show how serious they are about their recent pledge to “tone things down a bit” and “unify” the country. To add to the fun, our lucky AR-15 winner will also receive a free “hall pass” into the elementary school of their choice. Now, call me crazy, but it just seems that sponsoring a raffle to win the same weapon that nearly killed your presidential candidate — just doesn’t seem like the best choice for a prize. Who came up with that idea, anyway? Hannah Gutiérrez?
Anyway, word has it that immediately following the “AR-15 Raffle,” the RNC also plans to auction off its entire stock of “Paul Pelosi Hammers,” allegedly signed by David DePape himself. And if that isn’t enough to excite the living hell out of MAGA sycophants, all this will be followed by Donald Trump auctioning off the fake sympathy band-aid he wore over his ear during his first appearance on stage at the convention. By the way, wonder when Joseph Goebbels is scheduled to speak?
Talk about “a good time was had by all.” That said, I do have to ask - now, is it just me, or does it seem a bit odd that a “Concealed-Carry” group would choose to raffle off an AR-15? I mean, I’m no weapons expert, but one would assume a weapon as large as an AR-15 would be rather difficult to “conceal.” But then again, I’m the first to admit I’ve never really been all that good at math.
The truth is, MAGAs really love their “American-made AR-15s.” This should finally put to rest the myth MAGAs only seem to like “cheap, foreign crap.” You know, such as shit that comes from places like Slovenia. Meanwhile, America’s richest mental patient, Tesla’s Elon Musk - known for savvy investments such as his purchase of Twitter (X), flaunted his MAGA credentials by announcing that after the Trump shooting, he’s decided to donate $45 million a month to a pro-Trump Super PAC - which makes terrific sense when you consider the new Republican platform vows to end all subsidies for electric cars. Hum, sounds like Mr. Trump may have some stiff competition for this year’s “Stable Genius Award.”