Ryan Lochte Dropped By All Four Commercial Sponsors: After he falsely claimed he and three teammates had been held up by armed robbers at a Rio de Janeiro gas station, U.S. swimmer Ryan Lochte has been dropped by sponsors Speedo, Ralph Lauren, Airweave and Gentle Hair Removal. On a positive note, the makers of Mad Dog 20/20 and Colt 45 Malt Liquor have generously agreed to pick him up.

Austrian Woman Has Vandalized Over 1,000 Cars: Police say the have no idea why a 35-year-old supposedly mentally ill woman in Styria, Austria, has spent more than half a decade scratching a zig-zag pattern into the paint jobs of local cars. Now I’m no psychologist, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out - her family probably owns a body shop.

Melania Trump Threatens Lawsuit Over Escort Claims: Melania Trump, wife of the Republican nominee Donald Trump, is denying rumors published in the Daily Mail that she worked for an escort service two decades ago. Good grief, a gorgeous Eastern European blonde immigrant working as an escort - say it an’t so! So if Trump gets elected, would that make her our "First Lady of the Evening?”