Pastor Wiles Warns Florida Liberals We’re Coming After You: In a recent telecast to his many followers, Florida anti-Semite Pastor Rick Wiles, who had recently blamed Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer for making right-wing militias want to kidnap and murder both her and her family, is now warning those whom he refers to as “liberals invading Florida” to “pack your bags and get out - because we’re coming for you.”

Now, at first, I was wondering - why in the hell would anyone ever want to invade Florida? Then, it occurred to me - folks who desperately wanna get the hell out of Alabama - that’s who! I assume anyone who still has any gray matter or even most of their front teeth, would certainly wanna flee Alabama - even if that does mean Florida.

Anyway, all kidding aside - if Pastor Wiles really wants to know who’s invading Florida, perhaps he’d do better to ask all the pythons, the feral hogs, the iguanas, the cane toads, and African the giant land snails “what’s up you?” Of course, I’m quite certain it’d be rather difficult to determine if any of those creatures are actually harboring strong political affiliations.

That said, it’s also important to remember that nothing really says “taking the Christian moral high ground,” quite like threatening to kill anyone and everyone - who happen to think or believe differently than you.

Of course, I’m sure Pastor Wiles won’t be actually leading this assault on those pesky liberal invaders - as he’ll likely be hiding somewhere deep inside his McMansion. Much better to leave all that, to someone with some serious military experience. You know, someone like Colonel Sanders.

Johnny Robish Comedy