Source: Wikimedia Commons
Earlier this month, thousands of people poured into the Elevate Life Church in Dallas, Texas for a MAGA "Reawaken America" conference, featuring numerous prominent far-right and anti-vax speakers, such as Roger Stone, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, Michael Flynn, and Eric Trump. About a week after the event, attendees began to feel sick, claiming to be suffering from fevers, chest pain, shortness of breath, coughs, headaches, and fatigue. Now, it seems conservative media is ablaze with conference leaders insisting that “unidentified external sources” attacked the conference with “weapons-grade anthrax spores.”

Wait, anti-vaxxers say what? Wow, these MAGA folks really do have an extraordinary amount of imaginary enemies coming after them. Now, I understand why they feel the need to be so well-armed. After all, any reputable psychiatrist can tell you those imaginary enemies don’t give up, without putting up one helluva fight.

Now, call me crazy, but if some evil entity had unleashed a weapons-grade anthrax attack on this event, why is it that the only people who seem to have become ill, were the folks who were unvaccinated for COVID-19? I mean, were these folks all drinking their bleach from the same communal punch bowl?

Frankly, if I ever attended a rally that featured election fraud promoters, QAnon conspiracy theorists, anti-vaxxers, as well as other assorted “wackadoodles” like Roger Stone, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, Michael Flynn, and Eric Trump, I believe I’d be more concerned about “exposure to public ridicule,” than exposure to anthrax.

Especially, when you consider the fact that if this actually was a “weapons-grade anthrax attack,” all of these folks would be dead, not whining on social media. Now, I have no idea why these MAGA nut-jobs decided to conclude this was “anthrax” of all things? I’m guessing maybe “The Cooties” was already being used by someone at the time?

That said, I do think I understand the logic they’re employing here. Let’s see, you have thousands of militant, unvaccinated people, crowding into a large conference room, wearing no masks and observing no social distancing, during a highly contagious, deadly pandemic, and then coming down with classic coronavirus symptoms afterward.

Why, given that - those geniuses decided the only logical conclusion one can reasonably come to is a “weapons-grade anthrax attack.” Well, I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but the way I look at it, about the only thing that could realistically be considered “weapons-grade” at this conference, was the “stupidity.”

Johnny Robish Comedy