Faced with low unemployment and a labor shortage, Republican state governors and legislatures are yielding to business lobby pressure and rushing to introduce bills in numerous red states that would dramatically loosen or repeal many child labor law regulations around “age and workplace safety protections” - especially, in some of the country’s most “dangerous workplaces.” Economists say when corporations struggle to find staffing, they’re delighted to hire younger, cheaper workers, rather than increase pay and benefits to attract adults.

Wow, who says Republicans have no real plans for America? “Bring back child labor!” sounds like a real winner for Republicans in the next election, right along with “End Social Security and Medicare handouts!” So, I guess its “Get outta that crib and get to work, you lazy little bastards!” And while we’re at it, let’s build barracks to house those underage child workers, and bring back workhouses for the poor and the needy.

Of course, these moves are going to seem rather harsh to some - I’m looking at you, “Libtards!” However, Republicans are quick to counter that with all the cuts the GOP has been able to make to public education, these kids will grow up with no critical thinking skills and basically have no future anyway, so they’re really doing the kiddies a big favor giving them “jobs.” Meanwhile, all I can think is, “what a shame Charles Dickens and Upton Sinclair are no longer around to chronicle this shit.”

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