Source: Wikimedia Commons
In keeping with Gov. Ron DeSantis’ wish to eradicate “Woke” from the state’s Public School System, the Florida Board of Education has just voted to approve an addition to the American history curriculum, which will also teach students about the “benefits of slavery.” This new standard for teaching means Middle School students in Florida will now be taught a new curriculum that will promote the idea that slavery gave black people “skills” which could also be “used for their personal benefit.”

And now a word from our Republican US Supreme Court - “Hi, my name is Clarence Thomas - and I approve this curriculum!” Next up for the Florida school system, “How Auschwitz developed successful weight loss techniques.” Hell, instead of reparations, as other states are considering, descendants of slaves living in Florida can soon expect to receive an “invoice” from the state to cover the costs of their descendant’s “apprenticeship training.”

Now, with regard to slaves being taught "useful skills,” I was thinking perhaps someone ought to point out to Gov. DeSantis that it was “illegal” in most of the South to even teach slaves how to read or write. Of course, and in their defense, given the caliber of folks who seem to dominate red-state politics and the half-wits who keep electing them, it appears the ability to read and write is still not high on any red-state’s list of “useful skills.”

Anyway, thanks to folks like Gov. Ron DeSantis, Florida’s Middle School diplomas will soon be available to graduates in rolls of 500 double-soft absorbent sheets. So, save up all your Confederate money, fellas, because it looks like in Florida, “The South Will Rise Again!” Of course, those White Nationalists had better hope the South can rise faster than the encroaching sea does. Otherwise, those fancy new whitewashed textbooks might just get a little soggy.

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:
Johnny Robish Comedy