Source: Wikimedia Commons
The Wall Street Journal is reporting that former South Carolina Governor and Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley has formally requested Secret Service protection, citing threats from MAGA terrorists.

So, if I’m understanding this correctly, what Nikki Haley is basically asking the Feds to do is, “Please, please protect me from these vicious, violent, domestic terrorists I’ve been pandering to all year in a basically fruitless attempt to try and get their votes.” Just imagine, if you will, being so mentally warped that you have to request security to protect yourself from the very people - you are courting.

Now, what I don’t get is why she would need to ask for protection in the first place. I mean, according to Donald Trump, “Nikki Pelosi” is already in charge of Capitol security. So, why would she even need to ask for protection? Besides, I thought all you MAGAs are 2nd Amendment freaks who already have concealed carry permits. I believe there’s even a passage in Donald Trump’s Bible which says, “Protect thyself, oh ye of little faith.” I mean, have you lost your mind, Nikki? You folks hate the “Deep State,” so why would you ask the “Deep State” to protect you? Gee, its almost as if she’s a hypocrite. Imagine that.

Meanwhile, Haley’s desperate message to the MAGA herd is, “Now, PLEASE don't kill me, but please vote for me. Oh, and did I mention the part about not killing me?” The funny thing is, Nikki Haley didn’t seem all that concerned when Donald Trump and his thugs targeted folks like Alexandra Otascio Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Nancy Pelosi, Cassidy Hutchinson, teachers, Dr Fauci, Mike Pence, and a whole host of other folks the Orange God and his domestic MAGA terrorists routinely threatened.

Now, the seriously funny thing is, after all this, all the degrading insults he’s hurled at her, after trying to overthrow the United States, and after all the felony criminal indictments, Nikki still declares that if she’s elected, she’ll pardon Donald Trump. Of course, as we all know, there’s slightly less than a snowball’s chance in hell of that actually happening, but its still fun to play “Let’s Pretend.” Oh well! On a positive note, even if she does lose the election, I suppose she can always try and audition for Lorne Michaels.