Source: Johnny Robish (Author)
In Defense of House Cats: So, a friend dropped by my place the other day to say hello, and immediately starts playing with my long-haired cat Smokey. Shortly thereafter, he discovers he has a mouth full of fur. Well, I hated to do it, but I looked him right in the eye and told him what any cat owner would say. I told him "Keep, my cat's fur - out your fucking mouth!"

Always Think Before You Speak: I have to admit I recently did something I’m not very proud of having done. I was having coffee with an old friend outdoors at Peet’s Coffee in Santa Monica the other day. We had a rather pleasant conversation and as he was leaving, like an idiot, I said to him “see you later alligator!” I said this even while knowing in my heart, that this person - was really not an alligator.

Have you ever heard someone say “I won’t dignify that with a response?” Well, I happen to be the guy who will.

I’m So Tired of Zombie and Vampire Films: While zombie films were all the rage for quite a few years, I personally never had an interest in watching either zombie or vampire movies. In fact, I find a character like Count Dracula sooooo disgusting, I don’t know how he can even look at himself in the mirror. Oh, wait…

My Friend Dreamed of Becoming an Astronaut: When my childhood best friend was a kid, he always dreamed of one day becoming an astronaut when he grew up. Then, someone told him the Moon is made of green cheese, and that sent all his childhood dreams right down the drain, for you see - my friend is lactose-intolerant.

Thoughts About the Lincoln Assassination: Lincoln assassin and Confederate sympathizer John Wilkes Booth shot President Abraham Lincoln in the balcony of Ford’s Theater in April of 1865. He might have actually gotten away it, but as he leaped from the balcony while attempting to escape, he apparently took that old theater cliché "break a leg" - a wee-bit too literally.

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