Study Identifies Largest Flying Creature That Ever Lived: Scientists have finally identified and unveiled a new airplane-sized species of pterosaur named Cryodrakon boreas, which scientists say was first discovered more than 30 years ago in Alberta, Canada - a species that lorded over the primeval skies in the late Cretaceous period.

So, you’re telling me that scientists have finally figured out this gigantic beast was Canadian? Hell, I’m no paleontologist, but even I could have even figured that out. I mean, what the hell do they think that big “red maple leaf” on its back is all about? In fact, my guess is - it must have been on some sort of prehistoric, Cretaceous era Air Canada flight, when it crashed.

Of course, as we all know, air travel back in those days was quite a bit different than it is today. Why, I’m told that on some non-stop Cretaceous period flights, you might even get served an entire barbecued stegosaurus for your in-flight meal, instead of that tiny bag of stale peanuts you get today.

That said, I can’t even imagine the fear one would have after seeing a giant monster like this up in the sky. Hell, the largest, flying beast I ever encountered, was a huge, obnoxious, jerk from Philadelphia, who sat next to me on a plane, and snored out loud all the way back to LA. All I can say is, it’s damn shame there were no paleontologists on that flight!

Johnny Robish Comedy