Source: New York Post
Humpback Whale Swallows Lobster Diver Whole - Then Spits Him Back Out: Cape Cod lobster diver Michael Packard is very lucky to be alive. He was on his second plunge into the ocean off the coast of Cape Cod, when all of a sudden everything went dark. At first, he thought he was being swallowed by a great white, but then realized he was actually in the mouth of a humpback whale. His partner Josiah Mayo watched the entire spectacle from their lobster boat, as the massive whale resurfaced to spit Packard back out into the water.

Wow, all I can say is - it’s a damn good thing that whale isn’t into swallowing “seamen.” Not to mention, his partner Josiah Mayo is pretty damn lucky too. Sounds like when the whale ordered lunch, he must have told them to “hold the Mayo.” I’ve read that humpback whales don’t eat humans, so my guess is that the whale must have mistaken Packard for some sort of a lobster roll.

Now, I may not know much about whales, but I do know that if this guy ever walks into a bar, he’ll never have to buy any of his own drinks ever again, for the rest of his life. I also suspect that after such a close call, Packard will probably never wanna eat seafood again. On the other hand, that’s no guarantee that seafood won’t wanna eat him. I believe that’s what they call “squid pro quo.”

Meanwhile, Republicans say they just aren’t buying it and are blaming everything on Black Lives Matter, Antifa, and Joe Biden’s lax policies towards whale migration. So, who’s right anyway? Did the whale almost swallow the lobster fisherman, or is this just one whale of a tale? Guess we’ll never know for sure - that is, unless the whale agrees to make a statement.

Johnny Robish Comedy