Televangelist Jim Bakker appears to be back to his old, familiar hustle again, this time asking followers to “save his PTL Ministry from the grip of the devil,” by purchasing an “Official PTL Blanket and Mug Combo” - all for the low, low price, of just $500. Bakker assured viewers that with this simple purchase, “we will be able to beat the devil back into Hell, where he belongs.”

Wow, and what a bargain that is! I mean, it isn’t everyday that for only $500, you can demonstrate to everyone that you’re actually dumb enough to fall for any scam some shyster tries to pull on you. And, as one might expect, shipping and handling are not included. Gee, wonder if you can purchase an extended warranty with that? Now, the irony is, these blankets and mugs are probably infinitely more edible than all those buckets of survivalist “food” he’s been selling for the upcoming “apocalypse” for the past few years.

And, while we’re on the subject, let’s not forget the poor fellow who purchased that set of PTL “Last Supper Steak Knives,” which sadly became too dull to cut anything after just a few uses. When the man complained to PTL about it, they told him these are “Last Supper Knives” he’d purchased, and are “only supposed to be used once.” For Christ’s sake, why do you think they’re called “Last Supper?” Anyway, the fact is, that while the knives may indeed be “Last Supper” knives, one thing’s for sure - this guy definitely isn’t gonna be Jim Bakker’s “Last Sucker.”

Johnny Robish Comedy