Republican state senator Blaise Ingoglia, a Gov. DeSantis pal, has introduced a slick new bill that would completely eliminate the Democratic Party in Florida if it were to get signed into law. The bill would direct the Florida Division of Elections to "immediately cancel the filings of a political party, to include its registration and approved status as a political party if the party's platform has previously advocated for, or been in support of, slavery or involuntary servitude.” As we all know, Lincoln was a Republican, and it was primarily “Southern Democrats” who advocated for slavery during the American Civil War. After the Confederacy was soundly defeated, the Democrats in the South then promoted segregation right up to the Civil Rights Movement, at which time those “Dixiecrats” switched sides and became Republicans, all as part of Nixon’s “Southern Strategy.”

Now, regardless of all the icky political implications of this shenanigan, I have to admit that my first reaction when I initially read this story was, “Florida has a Democratic Party? Who knew?” Anyway, my, my! Now is it just me, or does it seem like good ole Florida, the state that endlessly whines and cries and pounds the dirt about “cancel culture,” just did some major league canceling there?

Naturally, many are expressing shock that Republicans would actually go so far as introducing legislation to completely eliminate its rival Democratic Party. I get that, but let us not forget this isn’t the first time Republicans have tried this stunt. Does anyone remember Jan. 6th? Make no mistake, eliminating any political opposition is the GOP’s ultimate goal - not just for Florida - but for the entire country.

Of course, if you listen to Florida Republicans, canceling the Democratic Party is all part of Gov. DeSantis’ election promise to eliminate all the “woke” in Florida. That’s right, DeSantis really hates Woke! OK, so are we then supposed to believe that all those “slave-holding Southern Democrats” were “woke?” I guess there’s nothing more “woke,” than owning slaves.

What they don’t tell you is, when America was founded, people could legally hold other people in slavery. So, I guess by GOP logic, we should probably outlaw the American Flag too. Anyway, the way I see it, two can play at this game. How ‘bout Florida gets to outlaw the Democrats, and we get to “outlaw any state that supported the confederacy.” Problem solved!

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:
Johnny Robish Comedy