Source: Wikimedia Commons
Right-wing podcast host and Trump apologist Steve Bannon told viewers on his Real America’s Voice “War Room” show that children should be taught to handle guns in school so they are not "picked on" by bullies. Bannon claims, “We should get kids off social media and start teaching them the proper use of guns, how to defend themselves, their own self-defense,” adding that “we should make that an integrated part of the education so they're not picked on or not threatened and certainly not scared.”

Why, what an innovative idea! Put an end to school bullying by letting the kiddies loose in the schoolyard with loaded guns. Makes you wonder why no educational institutions ever have come up with an idea like that before. And Red State politicians could pass “Stand Your Playground” laws to legally protect school kids who have chosen to exercise their “God-given” Second Amendment rights on each other in America’s schoolyards.

Obviously, it takes a dedicated MAGA Republican to figure out that the only real solution to school bullying - is to encourage more school shootings. Never mind the fact that not even WC Fields would dare come up with a scheme like this. No, something like this requires the mind of the world’s first human incarnation of the herpes virus himself, none of than that of the Trump pardoned grifter, fascist, and “Clorox-white” nationalist Steve Bannon.

Of course, we all know how this goes. The kids with the most powerful and lethal weapons will get bullied the least, so you’d basically be starting a “schoolyard arms race.” It would all play out like this - “Cover me, Tommy, I’m gonna try and make it to English class.” Now, what I don’t exactly get is why Bannon would want to “take out” school bullies. I mean, everyone knows school bullies grow up to be Republicans.

Hell, and why stop with simply arming school children? How about equipping cars with gun turrets to “defend” against drivers who cut you off on the freeway? Or, for a creative mind like Steve Bannon’s, try and find a way to arm fetuses “while still in the womb,” to defend against a possible abortion. I tell you, the possibilities for arming everyone and everything seem nearly endless. Its like an NRA “wet dream.”

That said, all I know is that if they’d armed students way back when I was a kid in school, I guarantee at least 60% of the boys, 35% of the girls, and at least half of the teachers in my school would have ended up dead. That’s right, how do you stop a mean teacher from assigning students unwanted homework? By arming all the kids in the class, that’s how!

Of course, the main trouble with arming students is that these poor kids are already lugging around tons of school books, phones, tablets, bibles, crucifixes, and crosses, as well as all their insecurities. So, now it appears they’ll also need to start hauling around guns and ammo, too? I mean, how much stuff does Steve Bannon think a damn student backpack can hold, anyway? Obviously, something will have to go - so I guess its “goodbye history books.”

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