Former Trump lawyer Jenna Ellis, who represented the former president in his failed attempts to overturn the 2020 election, told her podcast audience of “The Jenna Ellis Show” that the five victims who were murdered in the Colorado Springs Club Q massacre - are now burning in Hell. Ellis added that “there is no evidence at all that they were Christians. So, assuming that they were not, that they had not accepted the truth of the gospel of Christ and affirmed Jesus Christ as the lord of their life, they are now reaping the consequences of having eternal damnation.”

Why, what a touching, lovely, sweet Thanksgiving message! The way I see it, the only thing missing in her Thanksgiving blessing, was an attack on Hunter Biden and his laptop. Gee, who knew “God” had turned the “reins of judgment” over to Jenna Ellis? Now, if I understand Jenna’s Biblical interpretations correctly, Christianity is now transitioning away from the antiquated "Jesus Saves,” to more of a "Jesus Hates,” then to “Jesus Damns,” and finally to "Jesus Tortures your ass for eternity.” Now, that’s some pretty heady stuff, if you ask me! I wonder, could all this talk about God’s hate and anger be true, or could it be Jenna has just been exposed to way too many of Rudy Giuliani’s nasty farts?

Now, what I find kinda odd, is just how intensely interested these Christian Nationalists seem to be with everyone else’s sexuality. Seems Jenna must have forgotten when the Lord hath commanded his disciples to “Mindeth your own fucking business, bitches!” Or, maybe it was “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” Anyway, it was one of those catchy phrases. Not to be critical, but I don’t think it’d be huge a stretch to assume most rational folk’s idea of hell would be something like “spending an eternity in the company of Jenna Ellis.” Personally, I don’t believe in hell, but if I did - I would suggest that by making these vile and disgusting remarks, she just threw a few more logs on her own damn fire.

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:
Johnny Robish Comedy