I aspire to become a Clinical Psychologist but I feel like I have never had the opportunity until now to develop my career.
I've had alot of set backs in my life and my family have got alot of expectations of me and they have been telling a few lies about myself and are making out that I'm greater than what I actually am e.g. career wise what I'm doing they are exaggerating it, my nana is telling everyone I'm going to medical school to train to be a doctor when I'm not , I told her off for telling people this because it looks like it's me telling them these things when I'm not and now all I feel is guilt, pressure and my ego feels damaged and has knocked my confidence a bit.
Why can't my family just say how it is and just be proud of what I'm currently doing now. I regret telling them my aspirations because they are putting more pressure on me to achieve this like they think what i'm doing now is not good enough and are just looking into this future when it hasn't even happened yet so far it is only a dream of mine not a reality.
I'm going to try my best to get there but I'm dreading to tell my family if I don't achieve this. Besides I need to get at least a 2:2 or higher in my Psychology degree to go onto doing a masters and then I need to do a masters in Health Psychology which I will need to save £5000 to and then maybe I can become a Clinical Psychologist but even after achieving that I will need to apply to be a Psychology Assistant which is very difficult to find positions like this so overall I have a very small chance achieving this.
I'm currently feeling the pressure of having to achieve something great. I did not want to become a Clinical Psychologist to have a high social status I want to become one so that I can help someone with mental health.
I really want to improve the Diagnostic Statistic Manual in mental health and eventually do some research of my own for example research into schizophrenia and see if there is any way to treat the negative symptoms rather than just the positive symptoms.
My family want me to achieve this for social status and they wonder why I've moved away from them I can't be doing with anymore lies, deciet and feeding on one anothers egos it's very poisionous and soul crushing.