I guess i'm typing these things out to kinda regulate my feelings. So here goes... idk if you will read this one day.. hopefully not but anywho. We haven't talked in 4 days. It's a shame that I'm actually counting. I know you have a lot on your plate with your job and everything.. and I'm at work a lot too but idk it doesn't really stop me from thinking about you. The past 4 days I've actually driven myself insane thinking about you. Wow how pathetic of me counting the days and acting as if I haven't been surviving from no message from you. Ha! but for real I've been driving myself crazy. Probably because I don't talk to anyone about these feelings or express them to you the way that I want to. So basically I just run it through my head a lot, to myself... or play out a scenario or recall a lot of things we've conversed to eachother that ultimately makes me feel that emotion again. I do it to myself. I haven't told anyone any feeling or thought about it all. I haven't told you either... I don't want you to have another petty thing to think about when I know it's just some good ol overthinking from me! soooooo I guess since I can't really tell others, or you. Then i'll myself.... in this note. I get to read this when I'm feeling this way again. The feeling of just being so open and expressive on my feelings for you. And everything I feel and think and overthink. I can read this, and breath, and tell my own brain to shut the fuck up hahaha. To my future self that is reading this. First of all you're amazing lol. You're beautiful. And the realest you that you can be is authentic. Be real!. Do what you feel. Text what you wish. Don't ever hold yourself back on your expressive self. Understand before you speak, you need to know your feelings and thoughts before you share it with others. Don't overthink too much. you always do that. Feel it. Accept it and then let it go xo
write
