I entered the school counseling profession to inspire others to find their dream job, their purpose, their calling. You get the point.

As a manager for a fresh juice company in the late '90's too many of the employees hated their job. Soon, I started to tell them to leave and find something more. The company could do nothing to appease them. More pay? "Why, I still work 12 hours a day, four days a week and drive in traffic next to that ass clown with his blinker on smoking a four day old cigar." The money satisfied those who were not miserable twice a month: Pay day.

It took five years to get my first gig in school counseling. In this time I got married, I worked as a reporter, substitute teacher, campus monitor and a two year Master of School counseling degree program (I did have a bachelor's). I landed at a junior high working 60% of the time and worked the tutoring center in the afternoon to supplement my income.

In the process of writing this piece I feel the joy creeping back into my soul thinking about working as a reporter. Finishing those pieces, watching our part-time witch, I mean copy editor, butcher each one. I miss that lifestyle. I lived in a shack, I withdrew money from my retirement to live. Sounds silly, but it worked. My mindset then would make me happier now, no doubt. The stress of the kids, making dinners, showing empathy is not bad.

The gig as School Counselor has run its course.

My problem, as I have come full circle compared to those employees I spoke to 16 years ago, I am stuck due to my pay. I get excited once a month (government employee). On rare occasions, I do enjoy making presentations to students and families about the importance of finding an interest and pursuing it.

I know my interest leads to entertaining others with my art. In this case incessant ramblings about my current crappy gig.

Wait, I sound like a spoiled kid. Like those I work with on a daily basis. iPhone, check. New clothes, Check. New car, check. Exerting effort to a purpose or an interest? NOT EVEN CLOSE.

I am reminded about an interview I heard with Dee Snider, from Twisted Sister fame, who said, after his success from "We're not gonna take it", "It is really hard to write about teen angst sitting pool side with hot girls and nice cars in the garage. It was really, really difficult to keep producing that angst."

Amazing how I have become motivationally challenge with my modicum of success, in terms of a salary, house, healthy kids, hot wife.

I can't quit the idea of being a writer.

I can easily quit the process of becoming one.

Little help here.