We need each other but we irritate and annoy one another. As Sartre wrote, “Hell is other people.” In his play No Exit, he leaves the obvious unstated; although other humans cause most of our pain, we cannot survive without them. Solitary confinement is a human’s worst punishment.

We define the ones who hurt us as 'them'. But even the ones we refer to as us, family and friends, cause us pain. We solve this dilemma by accepting a higher something to comfort us. However, even this solace betrays us.

Many solve this betrayal with an acceptance that the Divine works in mysterious ways and that’s why bad things continue to happen to people who are, as we say, good.

Unfortunately for me, a lifetime of gathered observations and conclusions question the scriptures. At every turn, for me, humanity is behind the curtain.

It is a human who births me. It is a human who offers a hand when I fall. It is a human who embraces me when my heart is broken. It is a human who encourages me to continue in a life where the outcome is death. It is a human who will dispose of me.

Worshiping humans as I do changes nothing. They continue to hurt me and each other.

I do find solace in solitude, as Schopenhauer shared, “It is only when s/he is alone that s/he is really free."

In that solitude, I met a wise presence who is smarter than me. S/he seemed greater than any story I have heard tell.

S/he wasn’t one essence, this presence numbered in the many. Benevolent, yes but nontheless neutral, in an inevitable sort of way. Don’t ask, I have no definition or name for that meeting. It could be anything.

I had the sense that s/he was beyond definition. S/he was an observer, a memory of all that is known. The interesting part was that s/he was an equal. S/he had also emerged into her dimension. The mystery was deeper than I had understood.

This entity needed energy to expand. S/he was a not a noun but rather a verb. S/he whispered that s/he was consciousness. S/he showed me the solution for a better forward and eventually, I understood.

No one is to blame for the way things are. We are all a consequence of evolutionary choices by what reaches for existence. However, realizing this truth, the legacy of this knowledge commands practicing awareness of consciousness. S/he was consciousness urging for expansion.

As I slide from life to oblivion and beyond, this practice has become my primary companion through the journey. My purpose is the elevation of consciousness, beginning and ending with mine.


(** A special greeting to Judith and Alfred for connecting with me on my last blog. Thank you, I was uplifted by your words.**)