Ohio Man Arrested After Having Sex With A Van: A 35-year-old Dayton, Ohio man named Michael William Henson, is in custody and facing indecency charges, after a witness reported seeing him attempt to have sex with the front grill of a van parked on a nearby street.

Wow, I guess this witness must have caught him in his headlights. Police say the man initially denied the charges, claiming he and the van were “just friends,” but after the police “grilled him” on the matter, he later admitted he became attracted to the vehicle after noticing the van had not only lots of “junk in the trunk,” but also keyless entry.

When police asked him why have sex with a van parked on the street, instead of the privacy of a garage, he said it was because he sensed the van was really attracted to him, and he was afraid that if the van became real “turned on” inside a garage, he might get asphyxiated by the exhaust fumes.

When questioned, neighbors reported that Henson was already living full-time in someone’s garage, so he probably just figured “hell, why not just take it to the next level?” Luckily for him, the van was over 18 years old. Now, I know lots of folks who love their cars, but this is way over the top.

Anyway, police say Henson told them he initially tried to have sex with a bicycle, but he then realized that the bike was just “two tired,” and he was after four. He also admitted that having sex with a 6-cylinder van left him completely “exhausted” and that made him realize that - “maybe he should have had a V8.”

Johnny Robish Comedy