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Most of all I am sick of failing at everything and feeling like I am letting down everyone around me. Sometimes I just want to give up I starting to believe that it wouold be easier. Things sometimes seem so pointless. And part of me wants to runnaway from it all. Things lately have just became to much. I feel like I am a waste other peoples time. So I try my hardest on my own for the most part because, asking for help makes you look weak and like you are falling apart but, I still fail. Because, I can't do anything right anymore I alwas messing up everything.
I gotten to the point where I feel so burned out that everything just feels so pointless. Sometijme I just runnaway from everything because, I don't have the strength to face it anymore. And I am sick of fighting my depression with no help.
But knowing going back to school now that spring break is allmost over I know that it is going things so much harder. And everythings getting hard to fight throw. And I am sick of feeling like theres a hole inside of me that will never be filled no matter how hard I try. And I would do anything for this emptyness to go away.
And it feels like I have tried everything. I have tried talking to people but they eather don't understand, or I don't trust them, or they don't care, or they hurt or end up hurting me. But over all talking does help because, it just makes everything worse.
But knowing going back to school now that spring break is allmost over I know that it is going things so much harder. And everythings getting hard to fight throw. And I am sick of feeling like theres a hole inside of me that will never be filled no matter how hard I try. And I would do anything for this emptyness to go away.
And it feels like I have tried everything. I have tried talking to people but they eather don't understand, or I don't trust them, or they don't care, or they hurt or end up hurting me. But over all talking does help because, it just makes everything worse.
And I tried all the cooping staggies they help in the moment but, it all just all comes back and everything just keeps getting worse andf worse until things get so bad you can't take it take it anymore.
And everytime that things start to fall apart and I start to go on another downward spiral and then I hit the bottom. Everything comes back from all the times before that I fell apart making everything 100 times more painful. I start to ask myself are things ever going to get easier. I just don't want to feel this pain anymore. I want someone to help. I don't want to keep fighting by myself anymore it's just become to painful.
Everything lately has just become 1 step forward and 5 steps backwards. With every question that gets anwsered theres 5 more to replace it. I am trying my hardest but, I still not getting any where. I have never felt so stuck before in my life.
As my mind runs at 100 miles an hour. Everything I do I am told that I need to be try harder and work longer that I need to be 10 times better. But I start ask myself will I every be good efough? Is there a point in trying anymore? Cause it sure doesn't feel like it.
And everytime that things start to fall apart and I start to go on another downward spiral and then I hit the bottom. Everything comes back from all the times before that I fell apart making everything 100 times more painful. I start to ask myself are things ever going to get easier. I just don't want to feel this pain anymore. I want someone to help. I don't want to keep fighting by myself anymore it's just become to painful.
Everything lately has just become 1 step forward and 5 steps backwards. With every question that gets anwsered theres 5 more to replace it. I am trying my hardest but, I still not getting any where. I have never felt so stuck before in my life.
As my mind runs at 100 miles an hour. Everything I do I am told that I need to be try harder and work longer that I need to be 10 times better. But I start ask myself will I every be good efough? Is there a point in trying anymore? Cause it sure doesn't feel like it.
