Well here I am again, translating electric impulses into hieroglyphics on a form, an effort to what? think? To share ideas with others, to connect with others? Why am I here at this terminal spouting out stuff?

Because, the evidence is clear, my thoughts are not interesting or at least they ruffle people’s well smoothed feathers or bore them to invisibility. No point to be argued in this, this is my experience so far. Writing is where I am free and putting this on the internet, satisfies that need for a free conversation without debate. I have a bit of sadness over this but I have phoned the main office quite a few times, no one answers. It cannot be otherwise.

No doubt about it, I stir up preferences, thoughts and ideas. Some of those are quite old but yet stronger in some aspects than the come lately ones. And of course I would, my nature cannot be denied.

No matter what I offer, defense comes back riding on the back of some well categorized belief. An immovable, defended at all costs, rigidity called belief. By its nature Belief is annoyed by Questions and since most of what I offer or have is questions, I am not popular.

I don’t want to ruffle feathers; I want to think play together with someone else. Share ideas, learn from each others’ acquired stuff, and sharpen the fuzziness of what we have emerged into. Unfortunately, the responses arriving at me when I blaze my glorious idea generator, informs me I am annoying. My husband, of several years, when asked why he loved me answered, you are annoyingly interesting. He mostly enjoys my questions … somewhat … sometimes. It has been a spicy ride but he hangs in.

What can I say? My brain is an unfinished computational system that molds itself as it learns. Through efforts in unraveling the mystery into which I have emerged, I discovered reality is a flux. Never still, ever flowing, infinitely changing.

Whenever more information peeks around this complexity, the flux changes after the fact, never again the same as was known, a stranger to the second before it revealed itself a wee bit more. It is an ultimate paradox. We humans’ conscious-span is too short to grant an ability where suddenly, we would know it all.

But. Suddenly. I remember, moments do exist where we can know it all. It is in the Between, in the space where awareness is and the mind steps aside and allows stimulation to enter. In that moment, observing, senses absorbing the data, we are part of the Everything … we are the flowing flux, aware of nothing more than its own existence as it learns about itself.