Source: Wikimedia Commons
While it is already widely known that Mike Pence's former Chief of Staff Marc Short has been cooperating with the House January 6th Select Committee, sources close to former Vice President tell the Independent's US Congressional reporter Andrew Feinberg - that Mike Pence may already be quietly cooperating with the committee.

Well, this is certainly going to further piss off all those Trump sycophants and insurrectionists who tried to capture and hang the former Vice President last January 6th. I guess all I can say is “there’s always the necks time” guys. Hell, Pence’s testimony just might be the “lynchpin” to everything. And, had those insurrectionists had gotten ahold of him, both Pence and our democracy - would have been left hanging.

Now, word has it the insurrectionists tried to contact Pence via text on January 6th, texting him “Hey Mike, if you get this message, we’d love for you to ‘swing’ over by the Capitol, and ‘hang’ with us for a while.” Pence is said to have responded with “Forget it, I’m not gonna get roped into this!” Now, I realize a lot of you are thinking “all these puns are knot funny,” and “how about cutting out all the gallows humor.”

Besides, in Pence’s defense, and now that I think about it, it’s not likely he was really even in the loop, while this whole insurrection thingy was being planned and executed. After all, we know Pence’s only job in the Trump Administration was to occasionally simply stand there in complete silence - and “look Christian.” Why, evangelical voters just love it when politicians can pull off “looking Christian.”

Now, I’m sure many of you are asking, but what about his plans for 2024? Well, you can just forget about that, because Mike Pence’s political career is over - period! That’s right! It’s time for he and “Mother” to pack up, and head on back home to Indiana - to hold hands, and think “pure thoughts.” You see, some stories do have a happy ending. Now, come on people! Not THAT kind of “happy ending!”

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