At 18 years of age I would have thought I’d have a pretty good understanding of who I am and what I want, at least that’s what I thought when I was younger. When you’re young turning ‘18’ essentially means turning into an adult, and with that you think comes a change inside of you, a change that shifts you from your younger, confused teenage self to an adult with direction and self-knowledge. Yet, here I am at 18 probably more confused about who I am than ever before. At least I feel I question it more than ever before.

I feel I still haven’t found out who I truly am and who I want to be. I haven’t pinpointed the things that make me my happiest, the things that I fear the most, the people I should hold on to etc. and somehow I feel I should have by now. I feel 18 is an age where you can no longer say ‘I have plenty of time to discover who I am’. By now you should know yourself. Of course I know that’s not exactly true, people are still learning and discovering themselves all the time. In fact I’m not even sure whether people do ever truly understand themselves. It’s just how I feel at the moment. I don’t want to understand the psychological reasons behind why I make every tiny decision I do, or understand how to fix a world crisis, I would just like to have a better understanding of me, who I am, at the moment, just a little. As at this moment I still have no clue. Although I know I’m never going to be at the end of this self ‘discovery’ of who I am and what I want, I at least feel as though I should be more on the way than I am at the moment.


I guess if you haven’t found out who you are and made peace with what you’ve found, then of course you’re bound to feel a bit lost. And feeling lost is probably what makes people, like me, start questioning who they are in the first place. Hence this overthinking ramble regarding the generic question “who am I?”.