I’ve pondering this a lot. We choose to use either very casually, yet with the same intent. Think about it for a second or two. How often have you uttered the following, “I really need a drink/some chocolate/some sleep/some space” (insert the most appropriate)? Swap the need for want and in casual terms, the content meaning changes very little, if at all.

The areas of real need are very few. To simply exist, we need only air to breathe and fuel by way of water and food. Shelter keeps us safe from harm, be it protection against extreme weather conditions or threat from intruders or wild animals, so I’d probably add that to the need category also. Take all of the above as given (accepting that not everyone in the world is lucky enough to do so) and with the right mindset, you have conditions from which to thrive. So why do we complicate our lives to the extent that we view want as need?

Being in a place of need is not good for anyone, but most of all, not for the individual. Those people close to me know that the last three years have been extremely challenging. To put it mildly and to reach for a cliché, I was not in “a good place”. I willingly defined my status as being a wife, the eldest of four siblings, by being the reliable daughter/friend. I worked incredibly hard, first as an employee, then for the last 12 years as self-employed. My focus was always on the future, on goals to achieve by a certain time, on doing more, being more, learning more. I didn’t realise it at the time, but my life was defined by need far more than want. And then, in the space of a two-minute conversation, my world turned upside down and the familiar landscape of my life dissipated before my eyes. I no longer knew who I was or what I wanted, other than the hurt to stop. My needs were simple. I reverted to those mentioned above necessary to exist, although if I’m being completely honest, I wasn’t actually that fussed about even existing. My pain was all consuming, each day a battle to get through, never mind win.

I couldn’t have known then, but that two-minute conversation was the biggest gift of my life. With the support of some incredible friends and family, I now reside in a place where I am acutely aware of the subtle difference between need and want and boy oh boy, is it liberating! I am emotionally strong I have surrendered to a greater power, the Universe, God, call it what you will, and truly believe that I am enough. Good enough in every way. I’m still driven to succeed, hungry for challenge and lifelong learning and to contributing in some way to making this crazy world a better place; OK, a little romance would be quite lovely too. But these desires sit neatly in the want box. Most importantly, I know and now truly understand that I am responsible for my own happiness and wellbeing. I no longer need anyone or anything else to help define me.

I am enough for me.