Source: http://crow202.org/wordpress/2011/03/life-is-rambling/
The most I have lived like a student has been in my placement year. I have no money, constantly searching through my cupboards hoping that what I already have is enough to put off yet another weekly foodshop. And yet, I plan my nights out with maticulous accuracy, yet still not knowing quite how much I'll spend.
But that's not all. Here I spend my alone hours scouring Netflix for a show to binge watch, and tidying my room is not only a chore but suddenly a necessity to keep me busy. And why? Because up here, I'm alone. Sure I have people I can visit, but no one I can crawl into bed with and watch shit telling with in my pyjamas like last year. I can't waltz into the kitchen and know I shall find someone mooching off class or pretending to write an essay whilst watching the football. To a point I'm starting to miss how I had to tell my flatmate to turn their music down, because at least the house had life then. Now the only life seeps from downstairs whilst my neighbours argue at 7am, and their child runs around downstairs screaming, shouting and slamming doors. And it's not cute either, it's mildly worrying.

The closest I get to human contact is the shout out into the house when I come home, when occassionally I get the faint shout back again, but even that's not granted. My room is nice enough, covered currently in birthday cards from loved ones who all live anywhere but this little island of isolation. It's not awful, but sometimes it all comes crashing in how few people I know here. Worse still, I don't even have the money the travel and see someone instead. Everyone is just a touch too far, and I'm just too broke to go anywhere. Whilst I search for jobs so I can get money to actually enjoy where I am situated, but right now all i see is impending rent, a car parking fine and an extraordinarily expensive hair cut that as each day goes on where I struggle for money, I seriously regret. Worse still, I am starting to realise the unlikeliness of me being able to get a job before Christmas, and how if this is the case, I won't be able to buy anything for anyone. And that's sad. And I won't let that happen.

This all sounds like a great deal of moaning, and don't get me wrong my placement is great, and where I am living (in terms of location) is lovely. But reasonably, not paying me for my placement is rediculous and it's becoming ever more clear. And yet the things I want to do in order to enjoy my year are pricey, and so I can't make the most of where I am. Therefore as the evenings draw ever nearer, and I recall that for dinner tomorrow it'll be tuna pasta once again, I wonder how and why I ever thought this was a good idea.
This and that rediculously expesnsive haircut.