Those days I wanted him uncontrollably are over. Just knowing that we would have a good old time. Satisfaction guaranteed and passionate love making until the wee hours. I used to miss that most. He was my greatest addiction. I would oversee his nassicistic behavior and settle for a relationship which felt like I was always alone. Until it was inevitable to ignore what I truly wanted. I needed him completely because I was going through so much emotionally. Everything changed and I came to the realization that I was in a dysfunctional cycle and my world was incomplete. I didn't feel whole. But as soon as he left the clouds were gone and the sun was warmer on my skin. I am not the same woman I was years ago. Though my life is not where it needs to be I see the glass almost full. I have grown and am much happier.
I've gotten to the point where I prefer to stay away completely and I'm sure I won't have regrets in putting him in the past fully. I feel worthy. I feel loved. I used to think I wasn't good enough. Like I could never be somebody but I was wrong. I'm not a nobody. I'm hopeful and I'm seeing positive results. I'm so excited about the future.