October you’re nearly over and I feel like you have just begun. But you are one of those months, the type that comes and goes within the blink of an eye. Although, I have been pretty busy, so perhaps that’s why, but even so I feel this every year, I won’t make excuses.
The anticipation of October always excites me, but the ending of it signifies some other kind of feeling. One I can’t pin-point exactly, but it’s when the beautiful orange leaves are no longer on the trees, but on the floor, and everything sort of turns into a wet sog, taking my thoughts along with it.
I feel like I should have enjoyed you more, but I always feel that way. I didn’t go to a pumpkin patch and have pumpkin photos like the Instagram girls. I didn’t go for as many autumnal walks as I would have liked to, or feel I should have, but then again walking alone isn’t always the most purposeful pass time. I haven’t even had a special October drink, because I haven’t even seen them advertised. Sort of feel like I wait for you, and then I waste you. Talk about life.
Today, I have a stay at home day, and I am doing my assignments and also enjoying being lazy. A part of me wants to get dressed and go for a walk, to photograph you before you soon turn into a memory for another year, but going alone just isn’t the same, and I have no one to join me on a walk, so I sit inside and keep thinking about what I could be doing this October, but actually not doing very much at all; which is standard.
Just…don’t disappear just yet. I know I have taken you for granted, not noticed you as much as I should have. Even now I am writing about you, and not embracing you. I know the month will then be titled “November” but let us make the October crisp of the autumn period last a little longer this time please? And I promise next week I will do better.