Parenting Fail # 7,848. That sounds about right, but who’s counting?

I absolutely hate missing any of my boy’s extracurricular activities, which of course is a bit difficult when you have a gaggle of kids. Add in my own activities, and it’s not uncommon to have 2 or more events fall on the same night. Concerts on top of baseball games; competitions, on top of meetings. It’s a lot to juggle.

So when I absolutely have to miss an activity due to scheduling conflicts, I’m frustrated, but understand. It’s when I miss something due to my own forgetfulness, busyness, distractedness that I just can’t handle.

And so the story goes, my son had his winter band concert last week. He would be playing in 2 different ensembles: the jazz band and the wind ensemble. For the jazz band he had a rather lengthy solo that he had been pouring hours and hours of practice into. I knew he would be nervous, but I could tell from the notes floating through the hallways, that he would sound great.

I arrived promptly and eagerly at 7:30 to cheer my son on; only to find out the concert actually began at 7:00. And yes, I missed watching the jazz band, thus also missing his solo.

Snagged

So there I sat in the darkened high school auditorium, when the heartbreaking realization set in. Tears started sliding down my cheeks slowly at first, but quickly gained speed. I did hear him perform in the second ensemble, but couldn’t shake the failure feeling that was filling me up inside. And the tears kept coming.

How could this happen? I’m on my computer and phone constantly. My whole life, and certainly my calendar are but a swipe away. Did I not look at my calendar all day? Did my phone not alert me to the time of the concert? I could have been there on time; I was just ordering more gifts from Amazon. But for whatever reason, I had in my head the wrong start time and never paused to verify.

As I sat and listened to the concert and contemplated my parenting imperfection, the tears kept coming.

In trying to figure out why this honest mistake hit me so hard, I thought maybe I was just tired and stressed. I mean, Christmas was but 2 weeks away and we were nowhere near ready. Or perhaps it was a deeper understanding of the impending empty house we’d be facing soon. Musical melodies would no longer be heard tumbling down the stairs, so to miss anything, even a 30 second solo, felt like so much more.

My world started unraveling in a single missed moment, much like a sweater with loose threads, snagged on an unforeseen object.

Life is full of snags, isn’t it? Some are preventable, and others you just don’t see coming: a falling out with a family member, a missed birthday, weight gain, job loss, broken bones, ongoing medical issues, flat tires, dented cars, missed promotions, financial strain, ink exploding on your carpet… just to name a few.

What I’ve come to accept, though not always appreciate, are the lessons learned in each snag:

Communicate openly, honestly, frequently
Be aware of what you put in your mouth, and what comes out of it
Seek answers continually
Pursue your passion
Slow down
Give grace to others as it was given to us, freely and abundantly
Pray relentlessly
Save wisely, give generously
Don’t leave pens around for your dogs to find

I talked to my son, and apologized through red eyes, and snot running out of my nose. He embraced me and said, “it’s okay, Mom. I know you didn’t do it on purpose.” And of course he’s right.

He’s looked up and seen me sitting in the crowd way more times than not: from little league baseball games, to Cub Scout banquets, from award ceremonies, to school performances.

So it’s time to find the sewing needles to stitch back up the snagged sweater I call life. I have no doubt I will get it caught on something again, but perhaps this time I won’t completely unravel in a darkened high school auditorium.

I’ve probably watched the video taken that night of my son’s solo 40+ times, and of course, he did an amazing job! What was a snag in my life was a shining moment in his. And I couldn't be more proud.



What are some snags you’ve encountered in your life? How have you stitched it back together?