Tonight I made a step in the wrong direction,
I feel close to giving up
When I've only just started.
I don't want to continue in this job anymore,
Surrounded by these people,
Feeling isolated and lonely
Wondering why I am bothering,
Wanting to leave,
So as not to have to remain where I am unhappy,
But there's the part of me that says to never give up,
The part that says you'll never know unless you try,
But I already hate this job,
I already want to leave,
i already makes me miserable,
No one cares for me there,
I don't like the management,
I don't like the people,
I don't like the vibe,
I don't like the role even all that much.

Yet, I feel like I know that in a different place I may feel differently,
That with other people I may even look forward to work,
But I don't right now,
And the pay isn't even good,
So I'm only staying to get the qualification,
But I don't even know what I will do with it.


I contemplated calling in sick tomorrow,
because I can't find my diary.
I don't know what is happening tomorrow to be honest,
So what am I even doing.
What should I even be doing.
I'm feeling so lost.

I hate working. I don't think that having a job full time is going to be for me in the future.
It's not working well for me.