We can see ourself as separate from what is going on in our life, but Blame is not a Game. Even though we can play it endlessly. Where is our responsibility?
As Gary Zukav said...
Please... tell me who you are and what you want.
And if you think those are simple questions,
keep in mind that most people live their entire lives
without arriving at an answer.
I was chatting with a former colleague who said that she kept finding herself in situations where she felt people took advantage of her.
How long has this been going on? I asked.
Oh, it always happens to me! She replied.
Blame is not a Game
I asked her if each situation had something in common, what type of people she interacted with, how they responded to her.
Why do you think this happens? I asked.
Most people are dishonest, they tell you one thing and then behave differently behind your back.
And how often do they do this to you?
Until, I move on to a new situation.
Do you see what she did? She expected people to behave a certain way; she continued to be in situations where she was treated this way, and yet... she did nothing about it, except move on.
She did not stand up for herself. She did not question why this kept happening. She did not listen to the past. She blamed it on others. (Tweet This)
Our lives improve only when we take chances -
and the first and most difficult risk we can take
is to be honest with ourselves.
So don't for a moment believe that the repeating patterns in our life, are out of our control. They are there because we have not figured out how to resolve them.
If we are unhappy about what's going on in our life, what are we doing about it? We need to remember that it is not someone else's obligation to make us whole. We cannot blame how we are feeling on them.
The coffee server who always seems to be rude, just to us.
The person who lives in our building, who never says hello.
The grown child who constantly asks something of you, whether it is money, time or advice (which they usually don't take).
When these circumstances persist what we need to do is find our voice. We need to be more honest in our interactions. Or yes, we might end a relationship.
But in that leaving, let's reflect on what we believe went wrong. Let's recognize our part in it. (Tweet This)
And do our best to not do it again.
Blame is not a Game, even though we can play it endlessly. (Tweet This)