Many years ago, I worked with a woman, let's call her Janet. I was hardly out of my teens, in a new city where almost everyone was a stranger.

As it turned out, Janet had a daughter a few years younger than me. Daughter and I became friends and I was even invited to her wedding, which was filled with the froth of plenty of pastel-dressed bridesmaids.

No one in our office liked Janet. She was bossy and nosy. She spoke with an uppity accent and constantly interrupted. She talked with her mouth full. She wore cardigans and pearls.There were many reasons to dislike Janet.

Janet was prone to migraines, and even now I picture her with a thumb held up to the side of her head rubbing her temple. She drank strong dark tea.

It was Friday, from what I remember. Janet went home early with yet another migraine.

Monday came, and her desk chair sat empty. Then our boss called us to the meeting room and told us that Janet had died.

What?

I was young, I had not been affected by death yet. And what do you say and do when no one had even liked Janet. My feelings were complicated.

And here I sit, decades later, still thinking about Janet. Was she really that bad? Had I found her annoying just because she was older? Were the little hand-written notes she had left on my desk, though unnecessary, something I should have ignored? Or had she just been looking out for a young woman who was her daughter's friend?

Over the years I've often thought, if I had met Janet at a later time in my life, I might have reacted to her differently. Because I would have been different.

Just as the people over the years, you know the ones who have a way of rattling your chain, all have something in common. They all were there to teach me to become aware and to find my voice. To make me understand 'the line'. (Tweet This)


Photo Courtesy Pixabay fills

To make me realize that the rattling throws a punch for a more obvious reason. It shakes you to make you think. Although it might take years to take action. And eventually you recognize these people at a distance and think, what the heck am I supposed to grow into?

Because there will always be people in your life, maybe similar to this:

- colleagues who get away with doing half the amount of work you do.
- the (supposed) leader who shares too many secrets that were shared with her.
- the partner who confounds you daily with the choices made.
- all the way back to the big adults in your life, who cared a lot, about what other people would think.

I don't know why I was put in their lives but each day I understand a little more about why they were put in mine. (Tweet This)
So Janet, thank you for hanging around in my head all these years. You were one of the first whom I was aware of that had a role to play in my learning.

Now, for the colleagues, the (supposed) leader, the partner and the big adults, more on them later, stay tuned.

Tell me, who was the Janet in your life who taught you 'the line'? (Tweet This)


Stay well, stay safe.