USDA Calls Republican Claims of Biden Planning Meat Ban a Fabrication: The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) said Monday that there is absolutely no truth whatsoever to a story being circulated by The Daily Mail and Fox News, claiming that President Biden’s climate plan intends to limit the consumption of red meat by US citizens. Fox News host and former Trump advisor Larry Kudlow took it one step further, complaining that we’ll soon all be forced to drink “plant-based beer.”

Wow, forced to drink “plant-based” beer? Why, no wonder all Trump’s beer-drinking fans are “hopping” mad. Now, wait just a minute! Do you suppose Larry Kudlow really believes that beer comes from dairy cattle? Because that assumption would be udderly false.

Fortunately, Trump “patriots” have already begun stockpiling cattle in preparation for the upcoming beef ban. I can hear these brave souls now “if Biden wants to try to take away the source of my high cholesterol and coronary heart disease, he’ll have to pry them from my cold, dead hands.”

In contrast to that, conspiracy theorists Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert believe Joe Biden and Bill Gates have secretly hidden “microchips” in the nation's beef supply, and are warning folks to avoid eating any “chipped beef.” They say not only is Biden coming for your hamburgers, he’s also gonna snatch your children and force them to undergo gender reassignment!

Now, some may complain that Republicans have absolutely no evidence to back up any of these claims. Well, the truth is - “they don't need no stink’n evidence. You see, these are people who enjoy spending their time getting really, really angry about things - that aren’t even real. That’s right, a Trumper will believe almost anything - except the truth.

Johnny Robish Comedy